I planned to spend the weekend on a solo writing retreat. Turns out I’m not the only one who spent this weekend hunkered down and laying low...
A couple of months ago I booked a personal retreat for this particular weekend, with plans to stay at my friends’ ADU for a change of scenery, while I worked on a writing project. So I was feeling pretty clever on Friday afternoon that I’d already planned to spend the weekend hunkered down by myself, just as that advice became commonplace.
All of the sudden, everyone else and their grandmother is doing the same thing. How strange to be not alone at all in solitude! And yet, I’ve also found myself reaching out more this weekend than I typically would while on retreat because the connection feels important right now.
I don’t obsess over the news, but it became clear midweek that Coronavirus was not ignorable, nor should it be. I, like so many other people, didn’t take it seriously enough quickly enough. I figured I’d be as cautious as I always am during flu season, but otherwise go about life as usual.
As a bike commuter, I hadn’t noticed how quiet the streets were getting. I was thrilled when I went out for dinner with a friend this week that we got a table at a popular restaurant with no wait. But she’s a high school teacher so we did an elbow bump instead of our typical warm hug. And we spent most of the meal talking about why the schools hadn’t been shut down yet. (For so many kids it’s how they get two meals a day. And what happens when little kids are sent home, but parents have to work and then grandparents - the demographic most susceptible to serious impacts from this virus - are taking care of kiddos?)
Coronavirus has become the focus of conversation the way a snowstorm or a power outage becomes the elephant that must be discussed before any other topic has room. (But it’s good to remember as this article does, that This is Not a Snow Day.) I’m sure your social circles have as much variability in the conversation as mine. My best friend is a nurse who works with medically fragile kids and she’d been told by her employer it was business as usual. Several of my more invincible friends, family members, and colleagues figured since they’ve got healthy immune systems they either won’t get it or might as well get it and get it over with. My friends and I continued to make plans for adventures near and far.
On the flip-side, friends and family in Seattle were talking about deserted streets and empty shelves in the shops. Companies we do business with posted about mandatory work from home for their employees. Email updates about approaches to COVID-19 started flooding in from every corner of my network, ranging from my yoga studio to my financial adviser to my CSA. (I couldn’t help thinking ‘Wow! We CAN connect on important topics. Perhaps we can use this energy to address topics with a longer time-horizon like climate change!’ That remains to be seen…)
And then the cancellations tumbled in like so many tidily-tipped dominoes. Events postponed, suspended, cancelled, digitized. Freelancer friends and family losing work right and left. Summer plans like My Annual Pilgrimage to the Oregon Country Fair now ambiguous. Conversations with loved ones about working on an emergency fund, but not yet being in a position to rely on it entirely. Small businesses I frequent sharing advice about how to support them and how they can support us. Or notifying us they’d laid off 90% of their employees for the foreseeable future. (Not to mention, of course, that identities with billions of dollars to be made like the NBA have suspended large events!) I’ve been thinking about how I can continue to support the businesses and causes I believe in, while also being prudent and frugal. I’m curious about how others are choosing to do this and I look forward to hearing.
“Strange times,” is a phrase I’ve heard a lot this week. And it feels that way. Especially when I look at world news and realize how truly global our world is and how differently governments have approached the situation. (My heart goes out to my beloved Italy, where I studied abroad in college, and, of course, to China where it was impossible to know just what was going to happen or what to do about it.)
I recognize there are tens of thousands of people around the world who have been impacted by Coronavirus in tragic ways and more who will join those numbers. I hope that governments, businesses, and individuals continue (or at least begin!) to look to science and best practice to guide them.
I found this article from the Washington Post about social distancing and flattening the curve particularly helpful in understanding why even people who feel healthy need to participate. I’m a social butterfly so social distancing is hard, but I recognize this isn’t about me. There’s a much bigger picture to keep in mind. And I am lucky to have choices and opportunities and a sense of agency in this situation.
So I’ve been pondering how to act and react in these strange times since it seems we have a stretch of this ahead of us. I’ve decided that since I am one of the healthy (at least for now) and one of the wealthy (at least by world standards) my approach will be to follow best practices regarding social distancing and to find a balance between connecting with others virtually and embracing some mandatory me time to do a few more indoor projects and savor some solitude and reflection. I chose to act with goodwill and good judgement and to hope that others will do the same.
I have heard heartwarming stories from around the world that bolster my faith in humanity. Friends have been checking on their friends, colleagues, neighbors and reporting heartfelt stories about those experiences. Colleagues of mine creatively - and at the last minute - shifted the Passive Haus Conference to a digital format. One friend whose spouse is at high risk for complications due to COVID-19 posted a note for delivery people about where to leave packages. Within an hour a neighbor they’ve never talked to had sent them a handwritten note offering to pick up any supplies they might need. This video of Italians singing from their balconies during the shutdown brought me to tears.
How can we stay in touch with the people we care about and reach out to those who can use our help, while simultaneously taking impeccably good care of ourselves and directing our energy to the projects, people, and ponderings that we so often neglect in our hyper-connected, device-driven, digital world? I’m collecting ideas and I’ll share them soon. Meanwhile, be well!